I love you, Elastic Waistbands

Well, at the 18-ish week mark I've made it into maternity clothes.  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE, ELASTIC WAISTBANDS.  Y'all, I could eat a 3 meal buffet line without skipping a beat.  There's enough space for me to CLEAN my plate at chuy's without a single stretched seam.  PURE BLISS.  I may never go back.  Ever.  David's a lucky man.  I've been very blessed to have great people in my life who have let me borrow some super cute maternity clothes (THANKS JILL AND HAYLEY).  Even though I'll be wearing these things for the next few months it is very exciting to have an instantly expanded wardrobe.  The only things I've bought so far have been a pair of dress pants and jeans, and I love them (see above elastic waistband love).  In my mind I will look like Gwen Stefani did pregnant, but I think if you saw me you'd realize it is more like this.....

(Side note: I'm watching RHOA right now and since WHEN do these men fight as much as these sassy women?? Get it together, boys) (Side note to the side note: how great was it when Kim was still on the show and Nene would just yell "WIG!" at her.... love these ladies)

In case you're looking for comfortable maternity pants, here are the links to the ones that I've bought from the GAP.  These jeans are called "almost skinny" which I hope is a commentary on the type of fit and not the wearer.  The color on them is a really dark wash, which means that even after a couple washes I still end up with dye ALL OVER MY HANDS.  Like I've just murdered a smurf.  These perfect trouser pants are great for work, with just enough stretch.  For the most part I can still fit into most of my work blouses (is that a word that young people use? I hope so) because apparently I like a baggy fit?  Who knows, either way, for once in my life I have more than 5 outfits to wear to work, EXCITING. 

We also recently signed up for childbirth classes, which apparently entails something they call "mock labor".  I'll be honest, that scares me more than the thought of real labor.  David and I both have never been in the theater and I'm legit concerned that my lack of skills will get us a failing grade on this mock labor.  Clearly, I need to practice screaming and swearing at David now so that we are ready for the big day of fake labor.  The classes also include childbirth videos WHICH, thanks but no thanks.  I'm sure they are very educational and I will learn a lot, but I also think it will make me never want the baby to come out.  Cue George Bluth talking about the 11 months Baby Buster spent in the womb, "He turned out a little soft".  Surely I can just keep the baby in there and we can go to kindergarten togther.  I swear I won't help him/her cheat on any tests, but I MIGHT do all the coloring inside the lines, no need to be sloppy. 

My new nightly routine includes taking a prenatal for the baby's nutrition and watching Arrested Development episodes from the very beginning for the baby's sense of humor.  (Per my app the baby's ears are in the final position (weird) so I'm SURE it is picking up all of the jokes from that show). I'm pretty sure that in the future I will end up as Lucille Bluth, maybe with less martinis and more margaritas.  Here is a video with the best running gags from the show, enjoy.