Birdemic

You know those days that are so beautiful that you want to open all the windows? And maybe, if you have a dog and no dog door, you just leave the door open so he can saunter in and out without bothering you while you try to get dinner in the crockpot? Well we had one of those days a couple weeks ago and I did all of the above and it was glorious until I realized that having an open back door means all manner of animals are allowed free reign to invade your house....

Instead of typing everything out I will let the below screen shots of the texts I sent to Hayley tell the story...

Quick side note to put this into perspective: I am TERRIFIED of birds, especially when they're flying, even more so when they're in my house, and even MORE so when I have a baby in the house who I need to protect from their sharp tiny beaks. At the end of the day, I admit that I am Buster Bluth.

Basically, when my back was turned this bird decided to enter my home, tried to leave from a closed window, and got himself stuck in my kitchen blinds. I will say that upon realizing that it was a bird and NOT a moth, as I first suspected, stuck in there I began to panic like those people in horror movies when they realize that all the doors in the school gym are LOCKED. Of course in the middle of this the baby decided he was done with the nap and would like to be picked up IMMEDIATELY, as they often do. This led to me trying to decide if it was better to have a screaming baby out of harms way or a happy baby in my arms who might be either 1) dive bombed by a bird or 2) dropped by his mother. I decided the better of the two options would be to calm the baby down, especially since the bird was semi-stuck in the blinds. This is the point in the 2nd series of texts where I say "He stopped flying around". I legitimately thought he was gone and continued to cook again. I went back to close two cabinets that I had opened PRE bird disaster and the nightmare continued. To interpret the text shortly thereafter that says "ON TOP OF THE CANINY.", he was not gone, as I had hoped, BUT HE WAS ON TOP OF MY KITCHEN CABINET STARING AT ME WITH HIS BEADY BIRD EYES. 

This led to me trying to shoo him with a broom, him getting stuck in the blinds AGAIN, and me finally being able to get him out of said blinds with the end of the broom just as the baby decided to be done with napping again. 

Just for clarification, Oliver is our dog who during this entire ordeal was outside sunning himself. Even through all of my screaming, running, and dodging he managed to get himself a nice little dog sun nap in. Not until the VERY end of all of this did he realize that something was afoot and even then he didn't do a single thing until the bird was already flying OUT THE DOOR. He's definitely not going to win any awards for being a bird dog. To say that it was an adventurous day in our house would be an understatement. And I may never open the back door ever again.